MD 🤫 @mdl@mastodon.elte.hu

Getting sent home from the dormatory may not effect my education that much, but getting drunk will be real fucking hard tho

My 'time of the month' is when I randomly feel a wave of happiness for a few hours a month, but can't enjoy it because I know it doesn't last long

Sweat is just human sauce

Future historians will probably refer to this age as "the screaming 20's"

Today I slept till 3:30 pm to avoid my responsibilities. I'm proud and disappointed at the same time.

Me reading back all the shit I wrote when I was drunk like:

Therapists are just human-decryptors, change my mind

The harvest is a beautiful, ancient tradition that played an important role in human history. However when you're kneeling on the ground that has an inclination of 140 degrees in 12°C and intense fog for several hours, you might also reconsider that sentence.

I'm more excited about my phone's next big software update than my birthday and I honestly don't know what does this say about me.

Halloween is the best time to commit a murder. Not only will people not suspect a thing, they'll compliment you on how authentic and lifelike your 'decoration' is. (I mean in theory. Not like if I've ever done that... I strictly stick with selling heroin to toddlers.)

I propose that from now on every chubby, bald, white man has to wear this to the beach. No exceptions. No right to refuse.

If you're thinking about killing yourself: don't! Because you know who else committed suicide? Hitler. You don't wanna be like Hitler, do you?

I did the laundry at 1 am when I was drunk. Drunk me is surprisingly dutiful and I'm kinda proud of him ngl

I have anxiety which means that even if you are extremely thrilled by something I made, I will still think you're just being nice, because you don't wanna hurt my feelings and nothing will change that

You know that calming feeling you get when you divide the room into imaginary rectangles while vacuuming and clean them individually, because it makes you feel like you're in control? No? I guess it's just me then.

I live in the States and by States I mean the state of crippling depression and the state of constant anxiety.

Being an adult is when you can buy chocolate whenever you want, but you only choose to do in when you're sad

The only reason I don't hit on women is that when I was young my mom told me it's wrong to hit girls. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have severe anxiety disorder.

And now we wait for kinder's marketing team to contact me with a job offering...

You can't know for sure if this is an alternate timeline or not. Maybe reality shifts more often than you think, but you just can't notice it because the current one is always the one that you think is normal. There's no way you can find out